Awkward Door Conversations

I'm baaack!!! I still haven't decided how I feel about this blogging thing, hence the three month hibernation. But at one point there was a piece of my brain that thought this was a wonderful idea, so maybe it still is.  I've decided to give it a consistent effort for the next few week, and then go from there... So get excited people! You will be hearing a lot more from me for a little while.

Anyways, it has occurred to me that I haven't told you a whole lot about me yet. To fix this problem, I think I will start each blog post with a random fact about me. Today's random fact? I HATE asking for help. I realize that I am not unique in this hatred. I don't know if its  pride, fear of being an annoyance to others, or just a simple need to prove. Regardless, asking for help is one of the things I like least about life.

The reality, however is that only 1/4 of my body works the way it should, and that means that most things take me three times longer to accomplish than the average human. If I went through life without help, I would get absolutely nothing done. Ever. Doors, for example. I am perfectly capable of opening them... It just takes me about ten minutes. Let's be real here, ain't nobody, gimpy or otherwise, got time for that. So, when I encounter a door, which is unfortunately quite often, I suck it up and ask someone to open the door for me. Which brings us to our topic tonight...

When people open doors for me, they frequently feel the need to give me encouragement, compliments, or just general life advice. Here are some of my favorites from this past week alone:

• "The devil won't win." I didn't think he was going to. Does something about me going through a door suggest he might? I guess we're in agreeance though, so have a nice day buddy.
• "Be careful." No. I'm going to unstrap myself from my chair and miraculously jump out the window as soon as you let the door close behind me. Thanks so much for opening door to my impending doom.
• "Your smile lights up the room." I wasn't smiling. I've never seen you before... Thanks for opening the door, mate!

This one's my very favorite...

• "Your legs are tan... How come they don't work??" ...Because my favorite color is purple!... What?? In what universe... Am I supposed to sit at home and do nothing all by my poor gimpy self, and thus acquire ghost white legs... What?

It should be noted that these conversations were all completely independent of each other, and all happened within the last five days. 

Have a good night wonderful people of the internet. If you are one of the people in the aforementioned encounters...  You have a good night too, my friend!

Become Aware

Today is March 25. It is also Cerebral Palsy (CP) Awareness Day. I don't particularly like awareness days. To me, it feels like a day on which people living with whatever condition the world is now supposed to be aware of, stand up and talk about either how much their life either sucks or is better because of said condition. Then, everyone in the world who is not living with that condition feels inspired because those people are living their lives, hard as it may be, in spite of whatever condition that particular day is dedicated to. Maybe I have a chip on my shoulder, but that drives me nuts. So! I'm not going to sit here and tell you that my life with CP is perfect and wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing, but I'm not going to tell you that I would change if given the choice either. Because honestly, I don't know the answer to that. Some days, I love my wheels, and I love who I am, other days, I would give anything to have four working limbs. I'm not going to be the good gimpy kid on awareness day who tells you my life is wonderful or begs you to help me find a cure because I just can't stand it anymore. Nope, I'm not going to do that, not this year.

Instead, I will say this... Any little thing has the ability to change the projection of our lives. What if you married the cute guy instead of the guy with the brains? Your life would be different. What if you took the job in San Francisco instead of New York? Your life would be different. What if your parents had you go to a different elementary school. You would grow up with different friends, friends who quite possibly have different interests than the friends you have now. Maybe, just maybe, you would have the desire to become an architect instead of a hairstylist, and all because of the friends you met an element for school. If you went to a different elementary school your life would be different. I'm not saying it would be better or worse. Just different. 

The very same is true of CP in my life. As I said before, the presence or absence of this condition in my life does not necessarily mean good or bad. That fluctuates from day to day, but the presence or absence of it would, I'm sure, change the projection of my life. At this exact moment in time I can't sit here and tell you that it doesn't suck to only have one working limb, that it doesn't suck to have to fight for rights and privileges that other people take for granted, or that having to prove myself as qualified for the job 10 times more than the person sitting next to me in that job interview because I am sitting in a wheelchair and he is not, isn't hard on the ego. I can't sit here and tell you that, because it is hard and it does suck sometimes. But I can tell you that I like my life. I like going to school at the University of Washington. I like my career path. I like that I'm surrounded by people who love me, and if not having CP would have changed the projection of my life (and I'm sure it would have), I'm not sure I would like that. So I guess by extension, the answer is I wouldn't change it for the world.

I'm pretty sure I just did everything I told you I wasn't going to do in the first paragraph. My bad. My guess is you're not going to hate me for it though. Today is March 25, National Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day. Because I have it, and because it's only polite to do whatever someone asks you to do on their respective awareness day, I am going to ask you to do something. Become aware.

I don't mean become aware of CP and what it is and how it affects people. Although, I should probably be a good gimpy kid for once and tell you to do that too. But become aware of the things that have changed the protection of your life. Love it or hate it, I don't care just know about it. Know that every time you wish for that one bad thing to go away, or wish that it just never happened, you just might be asking for a whole new life.

I don't want this awareness day for me. So I'm giving it to you. Use this day of awareness for you.

Hello World

You see a kid in a wheelchair driving down the street, and you're curious. You try not to be, because you know its none of your business and you know its politically incorrect to ask, but you are so curious. Questions start to flood your mind... "Why is she sitting all lopsided? What's her life like? What's her family's life like? If I go up and talk to her, will she understand me? How fast does that thing go? What's wrong with her!?!?!?!"... And before you know it, you've been staring at the poor kid for the better part of a minute. And you feel like an awkward awful human being for gawking so you turn and walk away, still confused by the kid you just saw. 

Sound familiar? Come on. You can admit it. You've been that awkward person unintentionally staring for over a minute at that kid sitting slumped in that chair... Desperately trying to figure them out. 

Can I tell you a secret? Me too. 

Can I tell you another secret? I am that kid. 

Hello world! My name is Macy Westrick, I am a nineteen year old junior at The University of Washington, and I have Spastic Quadriplegic Cerebral Palsy. In English, that means that when I was born, the part of my brain that controls movement was damaged, and all four of my limbs are effected. This translates to inability to walk, and ultimately my dependence on a power wheelchair. So, yes, I am that kid. I am one of 1.6 million American wheelchair users. 

Even though I know how awkward it feels to be stared at, I have been that person staring across the street at another human who l perceive as being in  some way different from me, desperately trying to figure out why they chose  to pierce their face in ten different places, or maybe where they're from and what their culture is like. And before I know it, I've been staring at them for the better part of a minute, just like so many others have done to me. 

After so many years of being on both sides of the same coin, I have decided something: Differences are frustrating. They attract us to each other. They make us want to know and understand one another, and yet, they are the very things that keep us from doing so. 

More than once, I've wished that the kid walking down the street would just tell me why he chose to pierce his face. That way, the barrier that stops me from talking to him is gone, and I don't have to sound like a complete moron because I asked a stupid question. 

I know that's how people feel about me. I know you have questions, and that's okay, I am different, and different makes people curious. As much as I know you have questions, I know you're afraid to ask them. 

Through this blog, I hops to give you a glimpse into my life, and answer some of those questions along the way, so that maybe one day when you see one of the 1.6 million of us on the street, you won't see a kid slumped in a chair. You will see a person who's not so different from you after all...And you didn't even have to ask a question!

Welcome to The Diary of a Gimpy Kid!